Gold Encouragement for the Soul

“Kryptonite” is a fictional substance referred to in the Superman comics, movies, and tales.  This substance was Superman’s weakness and the thing that brought Superman to his knees.  Superman could recognize it if he saw it and was well aware of the affect that the substance would have on him.  Being the smart person he was he would avoid it at all cost to avoid becoming powerless.  Superman’s enemies would hide the “kryptonite” within other things in order to sneak the substance into his presence. 

Personalities, situations, habits, thoughts, and character traits are great disguises for “kryptonite”.  My “kryptonite” is negative thinking and acting people!  The reason why I say they are my “kryptonite” is because they tempt me to question the strength of my salvation and they are distracting to my purpose.   Sometimes, I just want to loose it and shout, “Shut UP”!  And maybe a few other things that I would like to say. 

Here you are going about your day and you are feeling great and full of praise, and here they come…  You see them coming and you are thinking “how rude would it be if I were to say –“Stop, you need to say something positive or just keep walking”!  However, you smile and hope that you can have a good conversation with this person.   Maybe they are having a good day, certainly they have ran out of negative stuff to talk about by now.   Wrong.  Here comes the rain of “kryptonite” – take cover, run, do something!  I have learned to quickly change the subject and it that fails then I must leave.

In the tales of Superman, “kryptonite” is used to prevent him from doing something good and most of the time something supernatural.  Stop.  Think about that for a minute.  How often are you in the middle of pursuing a goal, doing something good, and “kryptonite” hits you like a hail storm.  Like, I said negative people bring me down and distract me easily.  (Everything that I do requires positive thought, so when negative thoughts come it takes me a minute to get past it.)  Say you are having a thought provoking conversation with someone that is really benefiting them and here comes someone.  They interrupt and want to know what you are talking about (you see them getting out their “kryptonite” gun), you include them in the conversation and sure enough the conversation goes from thought provoking to nonsense.

Another distraction (“kryptonite”) might be other people’s agenda.  Let’s say you are in the middle of doing what you are called to do or something that would benefit that purpose and your family member calls and needs your help with something.  It could be a little thing like stop by and pick up something on your way home, or help them for a few hours.  Whatever the time frame maybe it is still a distraction.  It wasn’t on your agenda when you started your day.  Or a friend or family member calls and they need to vent (unload their garbage on you).  The call may only take 5 or 10 minutes, but their conversation stays with you the entire day or longer.  This “Kryptonite” comes disguised as a loved one in need.  They look and sound so helpless.   You start to help them, because you cannot say no or tell them to call back when it is more convenient for you, right…  You are at 100% energy at the beginning of the conversation and by the end of the conversation you are at 90% energy.  That 10% energy was yours to utilize for what you are working on, and not to be expended on you trying to solve a problem that they have been dealing with for years, in 5 minutes.   I am not saying to avoid helping other people.   I am saying to consider yourself and that agenda first.   A lot of times we know the conversation will not be good when we see that person coming or their number show up on caller id.  At that point, you need to stop and let them know that you can talk to them later (when you are done with what you are doing) or let the phone ring and go to voicemail.

There are some other types of “kryptonite” (temptations that you cannot resist) that can bring you to your knees in a different way.  Instead of distracting us temporarily when we are headed in the right direction like in the above examples, the other types will bring you to your knees to kill and destroy.  I must hit on a few – unprotected sex, abusive relationships, drugs, stealing, lying, gossip, and overeating.   These things are deadly and retard our progress by debilitating our physical, spiritual, or mental health.   My only suggestion for these types is to stop, get out, don’t do it, and to resist.  You may think it is easy for me to say this, but it is not and it is harder for me to do it in some cases.

So, when you see that distraction coming – I want you to picture a rain of green “kryptonite” falling coming toward you and you reaching for your shield.    I just have to say this to those of you that can relate to it – “big things poppin’ and little things stoppin’”!  (I probably misquoted that song, but it is hard to tell what was actually said)  Get the big things done and stop messing around with the small things!  I don’t agree with most of the presentations of rap and R&B music, but I have a few favorites whose messages cannot be over looked.  Art/creativity is always subjective to the opinions of those that hear, read, and view it!   

Congratulations all my SuperWomen! 

 

If you are reading this, you have made it through another week and you are still sane (or at least still able to read)!  Sometimes, wouldn’t you want someone to say congratulations or thanks for doing all that you do?  During the Mother’s Day weekend, I was thinking about this and wondering why such a void of encouragement exists.  I am not sure if it was because of the responses that I received regarding this site or something going on in my own world.  After we get past the age of 23 or so, we don’t get many words of encouragement daily.  Hey, wouldn’t it be nice if someone would give you a big round of applause one day for continuing to strive forward?  Well, here it is!!  I applaud YOU!!!!  Can you hear it!!! 

 

One of the main reasons I believe we don’t receive encouragement is that we don’t reach out to others when we are in need of it.  It is hard to do without seeming like a “whiner”.  I don’t think that people mind if you ask for a good word now and then.  Maybe it is our responsibility to pay more attention to others’ needs.  When you notice someone looking overwhelmed or down, say a kind word to them.  I have a tendency to keep everything to myself.  When I am trying to accomplish a lot, I am pretty focus and may not stop to express that I am in need of encouragement.  I image that there are a lot of people like me out there in the world.   Let us assume that anyone that has a more than 3 responsibilities in life is in need of encouragement.   You know the list that we looked at last week?  If you are involved in 3 or more of those activities you probably need some encouragement.  If you know of someone that is involved in 3 or more of those activities, they need some encouragement too. 

 

When we encourage someone what do we loose?  As far as I can think, we loose nothing.  If you cannot think of anything else to say, just say, I think you are doing great!  I found the more kind words I say to others the better I feel.  You may want to start just with a smile.  Try smiling at a stranger.  You might be the only person that smiles at them today.  Please give someone a hug, especially a senior.  You might be the only contact that they have with anyone.  Rarely, will a shake someone’s hand (unless it is at work), I will hug them.  And I give them a good hug, not a wimpy Hollywood hug either.

 

If you are not getting the encouragement that you need from home, start giving it.  Your children behave how you behave.  We are their world.   I am always complimenting my son and he is always complimenting me as well.  My behavior is all that he knows and at the end of the day, my behavior will either reinforce or cancel out all of the other behavior that he may witness outside of home. 

 

 

Who made you SuperWoman?

 

For the past 5 years, I have functioned as a single mother (very close to one anyway).  I am married, and have been for 16 years.  Our lives and jobs took my husband and me to different states.  Certainly, before then I thought that I was the one doing everything.  But having had to do everything to take care of my child, house, and all by myself I quickly realized that I did have some help.  I still haven’t experienced the truth of being a single mother, because only a single mother can know that experience.  During those 5 years, I quickly earned the “S” on my chest.  I work a full time job, have a part time business (or 2), help with homework, do the school/teacher visits, clean, transport, care for other family members, pay bills, shop for groceries and necessities, support friends, shovel snow, empty garbage, cut grass, trim trees and bushes, cook, you name it – I do it.

 

In short, my hat goes off to the single mother of today!! Oh my goodness! 

 

Okay, single and married women, with and without children, I want you to go through this list and check off all that you are involved in right now:

 

____ taking care of a home (cleaning, bills, laundry)

____ taking care of a spouse

____ taking care of a pre teen (that is a job in it’s self)

____ taking care of a teenager with prom, dances, driving and all

____ taking care of a toddler

____ taking care of an aging parent/relative

____ dealing with a recent loss of a loved one (finances, burial,)

____ Full time job

____ Second job

____ Church responsibilities

____ Social responsibilities (book club, investment club,)

____ enrolled in school full/part time

____ own a business full time

____ own a part time business

____ leading a group (church, business, social)

____ taking care of grown children

____ taking care of grand children

 

Two of those off the list will fill 18 hours of a day, but I am sure that most of you checked off at least 3 or 4.  At what point in time did this become okay?  Are we really operating at the best and optimal level when we add so much to our plate?  Will it be worth it at the end of time?  Who can we get to help us with our growing responsibilities as women?  I believe that others can help us if we were to ask them.  We need to let go and just ask. 

 

For example, it is okay to ask the mom that is taking their child to the same football practice as your child is going to if you need to ask.  If that parent is a responsible parent; why not the two of you help each other out from time to time?  You take Tuesdays and let them take Wednesday.  If you are taking care of an aging parent, get on the phone to your local community based organizations and see what programs they have that can come and help you as the caregiver.  If you have a second job (that is not your future full time dream career) tighten those purse strings and cut back on your spending for a year.  Use that extra income to pay off bills and not to just buy the extras for you and your kids.  This way you can know the part time job will end.  Sit down write down all of your bills and know how much you need to pay off that will allow you to quit that part time job.  If you are leading a group, find a co-leader that can help you with some of the responsibilities.  House work, your business venture, and other small jobs can be done by your kids.  If you have kids over 6 years old they can help you with your business venture (addressing cards, mailers, stuffing envelopes), grocery shop (you can cut your time in half at the store if you give them half the list with descriptions of what you want), house work, and even make phone calls for you.  It is a great way to teach your children responsibility, phone etiquette, and organization.  You can pay them a dollar and it will be a dollar that they didn’t have before.  You have an idea of how someone else can help you – just ask – just do it!

 

There is a thrill in being able to do a lot with the same 24 hours that everyone else has, at least I think it is a thrilling challenge.  I do believe that it will be worth it at the end.  However, when we are not operating at our best level when we are busy there is no point to it.  Eat healthy, exercise, continue to educate and grow, and work your booty off to glorify God with your actions.  Why not, do we really need all that booty?